


Convinced of Home

by taboogun



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, F/M, Fluff, Frost Giants - Freeform, M/M, Mature Thor, Near Death Experience, thor 1 rewrite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:42:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27077455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taboogun/pseuds/taboogun
Summary: A year after Thor is banished from Asgard, Loki decides to visit him on Midgard and try to convince him to come back to Asgard, but Thor is resolute that he will not return to Asgard. Loki spends some time trying to convince him that he is worthy of Asgard's love again, but it takes outside factors to convince Thor to return home.AKA I rewrote Thor 1 where Thor finds a different way out of his banishment.
Relationships: Jane Foster/Thor, Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 51
Collections: Thorki Baby Bang 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank my artist, horns4loki, for being the most understanding partner I could have. She was constantly patient with me, especially with how slow I was at writing this work. I want to thank the mods of the baby bang for putting this together for all of us and for giving me a due date because that is the only reason I did not give up on this work. I also want to thank them for being patient with me as well.
> 
> I struggled greatly writing this and, unfortunately, because of this it is not my best work, but I am still proud I have been able to put out anything. I have been struggling to write since April.
> 
> Content warning for Thor dating Jane and then kissing Loki. It isn't framed as cheating, but Jane also doesn't know about Thor and Loki's relationship.

Thor has a job. He bags groceries for minimum wage, which he has learned is not much money, but Jane does not care. She tells Thor that she makes enough money for the both of them and that there is no reason for him to have the job. Thor says he wants the job because he gets bored sitting in their house or walking around the town all day. Jane supports him in what he wants.

He tends to work eight hour shifts. He gets along with his coworkers and his boss and the customers love him and he loves the social interaction. It’s a mutually beneficial relationship. Very rarely does he come home from his shift irritated, but today happens to be one of those days. A few customers were being rude to him and his boss was not in a favorable mood and yelled at him multiples times for not bagging groceries fast enough. Though Thor would love to snap back, he reminds himself that on Midgard, he is not a prince. He has been banished from royalty. So when his shift ends, he is just a slight bit grumpy.

And when he comes home to see Loki outside his front door, on Midgard, he reacts with an unfortunate amount of violence, and Loki reacts in kind. Thor grabs him by the nape of his shirt and pulls him through the door into the house. He slams him into the closest wall he can find and gets in his face. He's about half a foot from Loki and without noticing, he wraps one hand around Loki's throat, resting his thumb on his trachea. 

"Brother," Loki says, his voice coming out barely strained. He has a cool look about himself, a slight smile upon his lips, a glimmer in his green eyes. 

Thor feels the end of something sharp against his spine.

"Remove your dagger, Loki."

Loki follows Thor's directions, easily tucking the dagger back into his seiðre. 

"What trouble are you bringing with you?" 

"None!" Loki defends himself. "I am here for perfectly safe reasons."

Thor doesn't believe him, but the words are enough to make him release his grip on Loki's neck. 

"Okay," Thor says. He takes a step back from Loki, but he is still apprehensive. “I do not trust you, but I shouldn’t have reacted so harshly. I apologize for that. However, why are you here? You should not be here with me.”

“Must we have that conversation so soon into my visit? Why don’t you make me tea instead? There is tea on Midgard, right?”

Thor doesn’t seem happy to do what Loki has asked, but he goes into the kitchen anyway. He’s tense as he fills a pot to boil water, but the tension dissipates as he waits. By the next time he speaks, he seems relaxed.

"So, what have I missed at home-- on Asgard. I forget, that isn't home anymore. But it is for you still, right? Please don't tell me you got exiled too." There's a look of worry on his face that comes so quick it throws Loki off and makes him rush to reassure Thor that he's not here because he was exiled. 

"Good, we can't have two rogue princes. Asgard still needs a ruler after Father. You'll make a fine king one day. Better than I would have been." 

Those words are what throw Loki off. Those words had never seemed possible, especially not coming from Thor. _You'll make a fine king one day._ Words such as those never would have left Thor’s lips a year ago the last time he saw Thor. Before his banishment.

"Do you not plan on returning to Asgard?" he asks.

Thor finishes the tea and sets two mugs down on the counter. He doesn’t invite Loki to sit down, but Loki is able to figure it out when he sees Thor sit down himself.

“You know I can't return. I've made peace with the fact. You should too." 

"Have you made peace? You need not lie with me." 

Thor hardens just like that. "What do you imply?" 

"It's only been a year, Thor--"

"You must call me Donald. The Midgardians don’t know who I am."

Loki can't help the look of disgust that rushes over his face, but he's able to get rid of it quickly. Thor doesn't seem to take much notice. Or perhaps he's just that used to it. 

"Okay, Donald." Thor nods. "A year ago you would have never been favorable to me taking the throne over you. Forgive me if I am put off on the change in demeaner. What has Midgard done to you?" 

"Broke me like we break a horse. That's what happened. I'm tame now."

"Stay serious, brother," Loki starts, foregoing Thor's atrocious chosen Midgardian name, deciding that from now on he'll do everything in his power to avoid saying it. 

"Midgardians aren't nice to the homeless, Loki. Jane and her friends were the only kind people I could find. When people do not treat you like royalty, do not know you are a god, it's easier to not have the ego I had on Asgard."

"Do the mortal women not fawn over you down here?" 

"Oh, of course they do. I am still attractive." Thor lets out a laugh. "But not as much as they did. I am not royalty here. I am just a beefy man." 

"But you aren't, Thor. You are royalty. How have you given up the title so easily?" 

"Easy. None of the people believe I am royalty here. I tried to convince them. They would not have it. Without my hammer, I couldn't show them. I gave up and took on a new title. What of this do you not understand?" 

Loki stares at him, saying nothing. He doesn't understand any of it. Sure, the explanation is simple, or at least supposed to be simple, but it doesn’t correlate to what Loki has believed of Thor their entire lives. They have no arrogance, they barely have any confidence. 

"All of it!" Loki explodes. It's not violent. He only wants Thor to understand that he truly does not understand. "This is not what I expected to find when I came to visit. I knew about your girlfriend, but all this 'I am okay being nothing' talk makes no sense. You have changed more than I ever thought possible." 

Distantly, Loki thinks that this is what he wanted, right? A tame Thor? This is why he had Thor banished from Asgard? It doesn't feel right now that he has it. For some reason he expected Thor to get better, but not change. Makes no sense, really, but sometimes things don't make sense.

Thor goes to respond after a few moments, but Loki interrupts him. "Where is your hammer?" 

"Northeast a few miles. Some government agency has walled it off and has been trying to pick it up for the last year. I've gone to them and tried to tell them their efforts are futile, but they wouldn't believe me. Especially not after I broke into their compound when I first got here. They remember things. I think I was on a watch list for a while." 

It's a lot to take in. Thor giving up on being king, Thor giving up on his hammer, the Midgardian government trying to get his hammer, Thor being on a watchlist, Thor in love with a Midgardian, which he knew about beforehand, but it hits him especially hard being in her house, obviously decorated by her and has no touch of Thor in it. Loki is thoroughly overwhelmed, and Thor seems to be able to tell. 

"Do you want to eat? I know a diner that does wonderful things to chicken," he offers. 

"What is chicken?" 

"A Midgardian bird. Quite delicious when they deep fry it."

Loki doesn't know what deep fry means, but he doesn't bother having Thor explain. He'll see.

The walk to the diner is short and soon they're seated in what Thor calls a booth, but really seems like a chair that hasn't been updated or replaced in thirty years. 

The waitress is friendly and greets Thor by his Midgardian name. She has a sweet smile that she shows off to Loki as much as she does to Thor.

Thor makes him order chicken tenders and Loki is only able to stomach one bite. It’s greasy and dry at the same time, not to mention stringy and somehow bland. Loki can't fathom what counts as delicious to Thor. Thor, meanwhile, is inhaling whatever food he ordered, which also has chicken in it. 

"Would you slow down? No one will take your food," Loki says, clearly showing his disgust.

Thor finishes his bite, or slurp, because Loki's pretty sure he's eating some type of soup. 

"No one will take my food, but no one will judge me for eating so fast, either. I'm famished." Thor grins at him, all teeth, then loudly slurps another spoonful. It takes everything in Loki to not grimace.

"Can we just go back to talking about important things? Like how you claim you will never be back on Asgard?" 

"I can't. Why must you bring this up? Just to torture me? Let me have my peace on Midgard."

Loki is at a loss for words. He never expected Thor to be so content on Midgard. 

"What if I told you I have a way to get you there without Heimdall?" 

Thor seems taken aback, the spoon stopping halfway from the bowl to his mouth. He locks eyes with Loki and Loki makes sure to show his confidence on his face.

Is it possible? For Loki to have found a way without the Bifrost? It seems impossible, but it does explain how Loki ended up on Midgard. There is no feasible way Heimdall would have allowed Loki on Midgard. Is it truly possible, for all Loki's begging and questioning, he can get Thor back on Asgard? 

Though, what would he do on Asgard? He's been exiled. He'd have to hide and lie about who he is and that is no life for a prince. He's not a prince on Midgard. He has nothing to prove on Midgard. He has more than everything to prove on Asgard. He is not worthy to be their prince. 

He is resolute. "I can't go back, even with your passages." 

Loki sighs. Thor finds it ridiculous that Loki would sigh when he is not the one banished. 

"Why do you care so much, anyway? Is being the heir to the throne not what it's made up to be?" Thor asks. 

Loki hesitates, taken aback. 

"What do you mean?" 

"You know what I mean, Loki. Why the sudden interest? Is it too much to handle? You want your big brother to come save you?" 

He knows that he's antagonizing Loki, but he doesn't know why he's doing it. It's obviously working by the look on Loki's face. 

"You shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't be talking to you," Thor says after Loki doesn't respond to him. 

"No, I shouldn't have, but I did. I thought you'd be excited to see me." 

"As much as I would like to be, you are only reminding me of a life I was forced to give up," Thor hisses out.

Loki is about to respond, but he's interrupted by Thor's phone ringing. Thor looks to find that it's Jane calling and he dismisses himself from the table without much thought to Loki. He walks outside the diner before he accepts the call.

"Donald? Is everything okay?" comes Jane's voice from the other line. 

Thor is in love with her voice and the tension in his shoulders melts away the moment he hears her concern.

"Of course, sweetheart," he responds. "I didn't mean to worry you. My brother made a surprise visit today and I took him to the diner. It completely flew out of my mind to let you know where I was going." 

"Oh, you have a brother? Why haven't I heard about him?"

Thor doesn't like lying, especially not to Jane, so he manages to compromise the truth and a lie. "Our relationship is strained," he says. Their relationship is definitely not what it used to be, but it's more his relationship with Asgard that's strained, if not irreparable.

Jane makes a noise of understanding before responding. "Is he going to spend the night? I can make up the guest bed." 

"I suspect he is." 

"Okay. When will you be home?" 

"Pretty soon."

"Alright. I'll see you then." 

The conversation, despite how short and simple it was, helps Thor's mood brighten. He walks back into the diner with renewed energy in his step and he slides into the booth with a smile. 

"Was that your mortal?" Loki says with a purposeful drawl. He's looking at Thor from under his eyelashes. He has his head resting on his wrist and he's picking at his fingernails, painted black. 

"Her name is Jane, and, yes, it was her. She was wondering where I was."

"I know her name," Loki says. 

"I told her to make up the guest bed," Thor says, choosing to ignore the bite back Loki attempts.

"I thought you said I shouldn't be here." 

"You shouldn't, but I'm not going to kick you out. You still made the trip. Come on, she's waiting for us." 

With that, Thor shuffles out of the booth and hands their waitress money, some of which she pockets. 

The walk back is awkward and though Loki isn’t excited to see Jane, he is happy to be back at the house.

Jane greets Thor with a kiss when they enter. It turns Loki's stomach to see it happen, but he doesn't throw a fit. He greets Jane kindly as any good brother would do, especially one who has a lifetime of experience greeting people he despises. 

Jane smiles at him. "I looked around for your bag to put it in the guest room, but I couldn't find it. Did I just miss it somewhere obvious?" 

Loki is about to respond, but Thor interrupts him. "He doesn't have one." 

"Hm?" Jane responds.

"Well, at first I didn't believe I'd be staying for long, but Donald has convinced me otherwise," Loki smoothly lies, remembering without a beat to use Thor's fake name, though it tastes rancid on his tongue. "I'm sure I won't bother you for more than a night." 

"You're not bothering me at all. We have that guest room and yet rarely any guests. Now, before I forget to ask and consequently never learn, what is your name?" 

"L-" 

"Larry! His name is Larry,” Thor interrupts.

Jane shoots him an odd look and Thor at least has the good sense to act embarrassed. "Sorry, I just find it rude to not introduce you guys to each other," he lies.

Jane doesn't seem to like the explanation, but she lets it go. 

"Nice to meet you, Larry. I'm Jane. Just know that I expect childhood stories before you go." 

"Of those, I have plenty." 

With that, she tells them that she is going to make herself food, and she leaves them alone. Thor directs them to the backyard and to the one lone bench. The backyard isn't much, is nothing compared to the gardens on Asgard, but that is to be expected. Although, Loki was expecting to see some type of grass and not just dry dirt, but whatever. That could very well be because of the blasted heat. Loki noticed it when he first came to Midgard, and especially once he and Thor had walked to the diner. The only thing he is glad about is there's no humidity and it seems to be nice and cool inside the buildings.

"Larry?" Loki questions after a few moments of silence.

"I was put on the spot."

Loki, despite himself, chuckles, and Thor smiles at him. There's more silence, but it's comfortable this time. He doesn’t know what’s changed since the walk back to the diner, but it’s not matter. Loki would rather be in comfortable silence and he is not going to ruin it. There's a dog barking somewhere, there are birds chirping, all the same sounds found on Asgard. It's comforting to know that not everything on Midgard is different. 

Thor, of course, has to ruin the silence.

"What is the real reason you came here, brother? I know you didn't find a way past Heimdall just to visit me. Not after a year." 

Loki knows he can't tell Thor the truth if he ever wants to get him home, he can't tell him that he wants him away from Jane. He has hated the mortal ever since Heimdall told him about her. It started as simple jealousy that even Loki had to admit existed, but then it devolved into hatred. On Asgard, despite how many girls Thor had, he always returned to Loki. When Loki realized Thor could not return to him, he decided he had to return Thor home. That is the real reason he is on Midgard, but he can not tell Thor that. So, he does what he does best and manipulates the truth.

"Father has been in Odinsleep since you left. I've been the temporary king." That is the truth, Odin has been sleeping and Loki has been in charge, but things in Asgard are fine. The Asgardian people are well fed and happy, safe from any danger. Thor, however, takes this how Loki expected. His eyes show anxiety and confusion and so much conflict. It's exactly what Loki wanted.

Thor seems to struggle to find words, but eventually he settles on, "What does that mean?" 

"However you'd like to take it." 

"You can't unbanish me." 

"No. Just as I can't boss Heimdall." 

"How's the realm?"

"Doing very well. I'm not saying the realm needs you--"

"Very encouraging." 

"I'm saying Father needs you," Loki finishes. _And also I need you. More than the mortal. I've had the worst year of my life without you, as much as I don’t want to admit it_ , is what he doesn't say. 

Thor seems to carefully consider Loki's words. He doesn't say anything more as the sun slowly sets around them, cooling the air so much that Loki is almost cold by the time it's halfway down. The sky takes on a pink and orange color that falls to a navy blue as it goes down. There are clouds reflecting the sun, orange at the bottom of them, and it looks gorgeous. Loki is content to keep watching the sun set, waiting on Thor to say something. 

Loki is confident that he has convinced Thor to come back. He knows Thor has a soft spot for their father and he knows it wasn't ruined just because he got banished.

It's dark and there are crickets chirping and lightning bugs flying past them by the time Thor says something. Loki has been staring at the stars for a while, after having put an enchantment around them to keep the mosquitoes away. 

"I still am banished, Loki." 

Loki's heart falls. He's careful not to show it. He thought it'd be easy to get Thor home. And it's not even the mortal that's stopping him, he has yet to mention her. It's the mental turmoil of the banishment that is keeping him from going home. 

"Don't you think you've learned humility?" Loki questions. His voice is purposefully soft, meant to hit Thor. 

Thor doesn't respond and Loki gently bumps their shoulders together. "Thor," he says. Thor briefly makes eye contact with him.

"That's not up to me to decide," he mumbles. 

"I think you have. You refuse to go home with me, you use a different name, you don't care that your hammer apparently belongs to the Midgardian government now." 

"The American government." 

"Whatever government. Doesn't matter. What matters is a year ago you would have done anything to get your hammer back and go to Asgard, but now you sleep in a bed with a Midgardian and refuse to come back despite me clearly giving you an in. My opinion may not mean much, but I think you have. I barely recognize you as my brother." 

There's more silence. Each time Thor sucks in a breath to say something, there's just more silence. The only light now is from the porch light softly illuminating the concrete porch that the bench they sit on rests. 

It's another few minutes before Loki makes his decision. He places his palm on Thor's cheek and gently pushes him to look so that their eyes could meet. He hopes that he's conveying what he wants to and when he sees Thor soften, the worry sliding away, he knows he is. 

"Brother..." Thor whispers and it's what Loki needs to hear to be able to lean in, connect his lips to Thor's. Thor falls into the kiss with no hesitation and it feels right. Loki hadn't realized how much he's missed this until now.

Loki tastes like home. He tastes like Asgardian berries that have no Midgardian equivalent, he tastes like the magic that keeps Asgard afloat, he tastes like everything Thor has missed. He doesn't want it to end. He wants to stay with Loki here, in the dimly lit garden, in a place where neither of them are king and they're free to learn and explore what they will. 

It's like they are young again. Making out in one of their bedchambers, exploring each other, knowing it's wrong, not caring that it's wrong, not caring that if they got caught they'd get in serious trouble.

It's like losing all the breath in his lungs when Loki breaks the kiss. He has to remind himself how to breathe again, has to relearn how to function as a living being. 

"You love Jane but..." Loki says, not bothering to finish because Thor knows what he means. 

"I want to go home. I want to go home with you." 

"So let's go home." 

"But what will happen to me on Asgard? I can return, but I won't be treated well. You know that." 

"I can hide you in one of the outskirts towns. I can put a glamour over you. Just until Father wakes up and we can convince him that you've changed."

Thor shakes his head. "No. I won't have changed if I return without permission. If that means I can never return, then so be it.”

Hearing that Thor still won't return with him is what makes Loki's heart sink to the soles of his feet. He knows the kiss was his last resort. And somehow it's more painful that Thor isn't choosing the Midgardian girl over him, no, he's choosing maturity over him. A maturity Loki never expected Thor to develop. A maturity that is impossible to believe unless seen with his own eyes. It's what Loki wanted, right? For Thor to grow up? So why is it causing him so much pain now? He just figured that after a while Thor would do anything to come home. He didn't expect Thor to willingly stay once given the choice to come home. 

Now, all Loki can do is try and convince Odin that Thor has changed. That is, whenever Odin awakes.

Nothing more is said between them. Eventually Thor gets up to show Loki the guest room and bathroom, and then they are both going to bed.

In the morning, Janes cooks them all breakfast before she goes to work. She has Loki tell her some stories about Thor while they eat and Loki is happy to embarrass him in front of the Midgardian. Loki hates to admit it, but Jane is kind and friendly the entire time. It's almost relieving once she announces she has to go to work because it means Loki can stop understanding what Thor sees in her. 

Thor is doing the dishes once she kisses him on the cheek and bids them goodbye. It's odd, to say the least, to see Thor washing dishes like a commoner. He's not sure he's ever seen Thor drain his own bathtub, let alone doing household chores. It's off-putting. Loki looks away and asks Thor a question to distract himself.

"What does she do?" He vaguely motions towards the front door even though he knows Thor can't see him. 

"She's a doctor. She helps heal people."

"Yes, Thor, I know what doctors are."

"She's the head doctor of the hospital." 

"Impressive." 

"No need to be ingenuine. It is quite impressive." 

"I wasn't trying to be ingenuine. Thor, I want you to know that I've changed too. I'm not in your shadow anymore, I've been able to be someone." 

Thor stops for a second, then dries off his last dish and goes to drain the sink. When he turns to Loki, he doesn't look happy. "Are you saying that I personally held you back?" 

"Yes, however—"

"Brother, I did everything I could to put you on the same level as me."

"Thor—"

"I did not hold you back." 

It's like a switch is flipped and their relationship is as strained as it was before Thor's banishment. Everything wrong comes back. Loki accusing Thor of things he can't help, Thor being overly defensive over it all. 

"You may not have meant to, but you did." 

"What? For being born before you? Was that my big cardinal mistake?" 

This is the Thor Loki knows. He's brash and pugnacious and he doesn't bother to listen to anything anyone says. It makes anger boil up in Loki.

"No, but you always had to be better than me! I'm not trying to accuse you here, Thor, I'm just saying what happened—"

"According to you," Thor interrupts.

"What?"

"What happened to our relationship according to _you._ " 

"What does that mean? Did we not have the same events happen to us?” Loki says.

“I am not trying to say that, only that you may not remember some events the same as I do.”

Loki is about to respond, to say something that will bite into Thor and hurt him, but he’s interrupted by an insanely loud crashing sound from outside, followed by some tremors. They look at each other with wide eyes and the fight is long forgotten as they collectively decided to rush outside. The dry dirt has been kicked up and it's hard to see through, even as Thor tries to wave it away, which doesn't seem to do much.

It takes them both a few minutes to see the source of the sound. Three frost giant shadows loom over the town, clearly staring down Thor and Loki, smirks on their faces.

Thor and Loki hear doors shut as townspeople scurry into their houses and buildings.

Before Thor knows what he's doing, he's trying to summon his hammer. His arm is outstretched and his hand is open and he's staring down the enemy, but then the hammer doesn't come, and Thor remembers. He stops, his brain short circuits, and the dirt is clearing, and he's staring down red eyes. 

"What are we going to do, Thor?" 

"Fight," Thor says. 

"How?! You have no weapon, and I am only capable of so much!" 

"What choice is there, Loki? You know they want us. We need to lead them out of the town as best we can, you hear me? Give me one of your daggers as well." 

Loki conjures one of his longer daggers because he knows Thor is better with a sword than he is a dagger, but he also has no sword, and it seems right now that any weapon will do. He hands the dagger over to Thor. 

"Thank you," Thor says, and even when they're about to be in a dangerous fight, Loki still finds it odd to hear Thor thank him. 

The dirt has almost settled around them and it's then that Loki notices how many people are still outside the buildings, watching them, scared expressions on their faces. 

"Thor," Loki says, and motions towards the townspeople. Thor understands. Thor has a commanding voice and though the Midgardians don't believe Thor to be a god or royalty, they still seem to listen as he commands them to go inside and to their basements. 

"Princes of Asgard!" 

Their attention is torn from the townspeople and to the frost giants. Out of the corner of his eye, Loki sees Thor's face harden. 

"Aye," Thor says, much quieter than the frost giant’s, yet just as captivating, just as frightening.

"No Midgardians have to get hurt. Surrender now and give us The Casket of Ancient Winters. It has never belonged to Asgard." 

“I am not allowed on Asgard and Loki will never be allowed to leave with The Casket. Your search is futile. Go home.” Even out of practice, Thor speaks with such authority that Loki is inclined to believe the Frost Giants will return from where they came. It’s a bit of a surprise when this doesn’t happen and the frost giants decide that they have had enough talk and they send a shard of ice Thor’s way, missing his arm by only a few inches. 

There’s a pause as both Thor and the frost giant see what the other is going to do. Loki waits on Thor. He follows Thor easily, he’s always followed Thor’s direction.

The biggest frost giant is in the middle. That is the one Thor goes after, dagger tucked behind him as he runs, ready to be brought out into an attack position. The other two are Loki’s, then. He has his sharpest dagger in his hand and he’s charging the frost giants, ready to play as many tricks on them as it takes to win.

Thor hasn’t fought anyone or anything in a while. He fought the Midgardians when he first came to Midgard, but that was over a year ago, and it was not a fight he intended to kill anyone during. Plus, Midgardians are not twice his size. 

He reminds himself that he is much more clever than the frost giants, that he is expertly trained in many weapons beside his dagger, and he has fought Loki with a dagger and won many, many times. 

For the Midgardians, Thor can do this. 

For Thor, Loki can fight them.

Loki manages to trick the first frost giant with a mirage, stabbing the giant’s spine when he goes to attack the mirage. The giant does not collapse right away, and instead manages to turn and swipe at Loki, hitting his stomach with his large hand and sending Loki flying onto the sidewalk, which immediately tears up the skin on his hands and arms. By the time Loki gets back up on his feet, the first giant is struggling to stay upright. 

Loki brings his attention to the second giant. The second giant seems to believe he is involved in the fight between the biggest giant and Thor, but they are moving much too fast and expertly for him to keep up. Loki can’t be sure, but it seems as if Thor is winning. He hopes it stays that way. 

“Hey, moron!” Loki shouts, succeeding in his plan to get the second giant’s attention. He starts to make his way to Loki and Loki is prepared.

It’s at this moment that he hears the first giant collapse, kicking up a lot of dirt, and out of his peripheral vision, he notices Thor become distracted. He’s distracted just long enough for the biggest frost giant to pierce a shard of ice through his abdomen.

Time slows down, or speeds up, or Loki doesn’t actually know, but he knows he doubts what he sees and he hopes with all he has that he was imagining it, but then he hears Thor’s scream of pain, and he knows it’s real, but then he is being attacked by the second frost giant and he is forced to forget about Thor in order to flip around the second frost giant and slide to his back to stab the back of his knee. The frost giant immediately collapses with a booming scream. Loki conjures enough of his seiðre to restrain the frost giant’s arms and legs to the ground, then climbs on top of him and makes sure to stab deep enough to get the giant’s heart. For good measure, he also stabs to puncture a lung. He leaves the giant wheezing, struggling to maintain his heartbeat, and he makes sure the other giant is not moving. Whether he’s dead or just paralyzed, Loki doesn’t care enough to find out. All he cares about is Thor, making sure Thor is okay, that Thor is not dead, that Thor has defeated the biggest frost giant.

And Thor, Thor is--

Loki can't find Thor. 

It's hard to see through the dirt that's been kicked back up, and the adrenaline is making his body shake, but he should be able to find Thor. 

He starts running. He picks the direction he thinks he last saw Thor, and he makes his way through the kicked up dirt that makes it almost impossible to see, and he hadn’t realized how bad it was until now. 

It’s a few moments later before Loki hears the last giant fall, and though even more dirt becomes a part of the air, Loki is able to follow the sound until he can see the silhouette of Thor.

He runs so fast to Thor that he trips over his own feet and ends up crawling the rest of the way to him.

He forgets how to breathe once he sees Thor. There’s so much blood and Thor is having trouble breathing, but the worst part is he’s slowly turning blue. He’s obviously freezing despite the heat.

“Is the giant dead?” Thor croaks out, his voice weak already. 

“Who cares?! You’re about to be dead!” Loki says, his voice hitching. He lets go of the spell that was keeping the second frost giant locked to the ground and puts his hands over the hole in Thor’s chest, but it isn’t doing anything. _It should be doing something._

“No point in me dying if I didn’t kill the giant,” Thor says, very slowly. “Take me to Jane. She will fix me right up.”

Loki is now applying pressure to the wound and though that may help it stop bleeding, it’s not helping the blue cold spreading across his skin, and it’s not putting the already lost blood back in his body.

It’s when a tear lands on Thor’s cheek that Loki realizes the situation is too dire for Midgardian medicine. “No,” he says, making his voice as steady as he can possibly make it. “Your magic is gone. She can’t help. You need to go to Asgard.” 

A hand clamps down on Loki's wrist. It's weak, nothing like the strength Thor normally has, nothing, nothing, nothing. 

"I can't, Loki. I can't."

"You're dying, you fucking idiot! Heimdall, please take us home!”

Nothing happens. Thor loses more of his natural skin tone, his eyes become darker, and Loki’s heart sinks further. _He’s going to lose his brother._ _He’s going to lose what he risked everything to get back._

He starts sobbing. He lets out a choked noise and he brings Thor close to him and he rests his head in the crook of Thor’s neck and he _sobs._ He lets out all the emotions he’s felt the past year. The stress of being the temporary king, the anger of Thor finding comfort in a Midgardian, the disappointment of learning Thor would rather stay on Midgard than break his banishment, and now the pain of knowing he’s going to permanently lose him. Though the sobs don’t stop, and though he’s started to hiccup from them, he also begins to kiss Thor. He starts on his neck and makes his way up to his jaw, and then the side of his lips, and then finally on his lips, and he’s _cold,_ so cold, even his breath, what is barely there, is cold. It’s enough to make Loki shiver despite the heat. 

“Heimdall, please,” Loki whispers against Thor’s lips, which move in response, but no sound comes out. It’s obvious that Thor is having trouble moving and does not have enough air to produce sound. It’s obvious he’s almost dead.

And then they’re being lifted, they’re flying, and Loki wraps his arms around Thor’s limp body, and he barely understands what’s going on, until they slide across a hard surface. 

For a second, Loki thinks one of the frost giants has come back alive and thrown them across the town. For a second, Loki is wrong. He knows he’s wrong when he doesn’t feel dirt or cement underneath them, but instead smooth stone. 

Suddenly, he’s being taken off Thor, gently but incessantly. He fights for a few seconds but gives up just as quickly once he hears who’s taking him off Thor. The voices of the Warriors Three and Sif come out through the fog and it’s enough to make him trust his surroundings, trust that he is back on Asgard, that Thor is going to receive help. 

That maybe Thor won’t die.

Thor is taken out of his sightline before he even manages to sit up and wipe some of the tears from his eyes. The Warriors Three are following the medics who have Thor, but Sif is still with Loki, and she sits down next to him and gently puts her hand on his back. 

“Odin woke up,” she says, and it’s all Loki needs to hear. 

***

It’s days before Loki is able to see either Thor. Frigga gives him updates on Thor’s condition, which starts as stable and is now quickly improving, but she can’t tell him anything about what Odin plans on doing with Thor. Loki has no idea if Thor is still banished or if his near death has changed Odin’s mind. All he knows is he’s not allowed to visit Thor despite how much he begs, and he ends up pacing his chambers for days on end, only occasionally finding himself in other parts of the castle. He attends two meetings during the time, but he pays attention in neither of them, so much so that he isn’t even sure who was at them or even a vague idea of what they were about. He is expected at other meetings that he doesn’t bother to show up to.

It’s on the fifth day once Frigga comes and tells Loki that Thor would like his company. Though seeing Thor for the past five days is all he wanted, he procrastinates once the opportunity is finally presented. It takes him more than thirty minutes to get himself into Thor’s room. He doesn’t want to admit it, but he’s scared of what he’ll see. What if Thor’s skin didn’t turn back to his normal color, what if he still can’t talk, what if his eyes are still dull, what if, what if, what if. 

What if Thor is mad at him for bringing him back to Asgard? What if Thor decides Loki has betrayed him in doing so? 

He works himself into a frenzy on the walk to the medical wing. He almost turns back a few times. He has to take a few deep breaths before he knocks on Thor’s door. He enters with slow steps once Thor grants him access. 

“Loki,” Thor says.

“I’ve missed you,” Loki blurts out, then curses himself for doing so. “I worried,” he says, trying to quell his embarrassment. 

“I survived,” Thor says and he has that blasted smile on his face and he looks so _normal_ and it makes Loki crack and let out a choked sob, which he _hates_ , because he shouldn’t feel so weak around Thor. 

“Come here, brother.” Thor holds out his arms and Loki easily climbs into the bed with him and settles into him. Thor kisses the top of his head and smooths his hair back, tucks it behind his ears. “Father wouldn’t let me see you until now. He didn’t know what to do with me.”

Loki tries to argue, but Thor quickly stops him. “I wouldn’t know what to do with me either. I broke my banishment. I should have died on Midgard.” 

“But you were willing to sacrifice your life for the Midgardians!”

Thor smiles again, and he brings Loki’s lips up to his own and sweetly kisses his closed lips. “Evidently, Father agrees with you. He has rescinded my banishment. I am free to stay home.”

Loki doesn’t know what to say. Thor seems to know how he feels without any words spoken. He’s had trouble understanding Loki’s struggles, but he’s always seemed to know what Loki wants when Loki doesn’t. He tightens his hold on Loki and rests his head on top of Loki’s. 

“It’ll all be alright now, Loki,” he whispers, just for the two of them, and Loki believes it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Make sure to retweet the art on horn4loki's twitter!](https://twitter.com/horns4loki/status/1317727589792993282?s=20)


	2. Epilogue

Thor is allowed to return to Midgard for the day. It’s been a few weeks since he returned to Asgard, but it was the soonest he was allowed to travel, per Odin’s orders. It’s the only visit to Midgard he is allowed for a long while. He debates visiting the grocery store to say goodbye to his old coworkers, but once he gets to Midgard, all he can think about is Jane and how he left her. He finds himself at her doorstep, knocking on the door, desperately hoping she will be home.

He expects her to be happy to see him, but she seems less than thrilled. 

“You disappeared,” she says the moment she answers the door.

“I know,” he responds. “I’m sorry.” 

“You disappeared with some insane story about giants attacking and you and your brother being sucked up into rainbow light, which I don’t want to believe, but there’s that weird rune-thing in the middle of town now so I don’t know what to believe except that you left!” she rambles. 

Thor is awkwardly shuffling the entire time she’s talking. 

“I know. Um, that is true though. I was sucked into a rainbow light, but it’s actually called the Bifrost, but rainbow light works too. It is essentially a rainbow light.”

“You have completely lost me, Donald,” she deadpans.

“I’m sorry,” Thor repeats himself. “Just—hold on.” 

She gives him an odd look as he holds out his hand and he mouths at her to wait, and when he feels his hammer flying towards him, it’s the best thing he’s ever felt. His hammer lands into his grip and Thor can’t help but smile. He never thought he’d feel Mjolnir’s weight or her buzz again. 

“This is Mjolnir,” Thor says, resting her in his hands and showing her off to Jane. Jane’s mouth is hanging open in surprise and she traces a finger across Mjolnir’s carvings.

“This is real?” she asks. Thor chuckles and nods. “So all that about… about you being Thor, that was real? You’re actually a god?” 

“Yes.” 

She’s silent for a while before she slides down her door, sitting on the ground. “I may have to rethink some stuff,” she mumbles. 

Thor sits down at her level and has her look at him. “I’m sorry to tell you this way. I would love to explain everything to you, but the best I can do is give you closure and to tell you how deeply sorry I am for disappearing like I did. You are a very good woman, Jane, and know that I will be watching you from Asgard to make sure you are safe.” 

Judging by Jane’s smile, the words come off as comforting as Thor was hoping they would.

“I have to go now. Thank you for the amazing year, Jane, and for helping me when many others would not. You will always mean something to me.” 

He kisses her forehead, walks to the end of the driveway, smiles at her one last time, then calls for Heimdall to take him home. 

Jane has lived many different minutes of her life, but those five of seeing Donald for the last time have to be the most confusing, yet unique five of her life.


End file.
